


Air, Water, Food, Check...Condoms?  Oops

by ladyoneill



Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Angst and Humor, Birth Control, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, False Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 11:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/pseuds/ladyoneill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months into their journey on Destiny, they have the basic needs in hand.  They fixed the air and the water.  Food is found and being grown.  But then they run out of something they can't easily replace, and TJ looks for a solution before she's not the only one pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Air, Water, Food, Check...Condoms?  Oops

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sprocket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprocket/gifts).



> This was not what I planned to write! Still, it's female-centric and female-proactive, and you know they had to have run out of the various forms of contraception! I hope it was okay to throw Wray and Young in there as well. Greer/Park is only in the background; the mention of abortion is two lines.

"I've got a problem. Actually, we probably all have a problem. Well, not you."

Confused, TJ lifts her head from a microscope slide of spores which seem to promise aspirin-like qualities, and blinks over at Lisa who's standing in the doorway waving a small box.

Oh.

Condoms. Yeah, she's heard rumors they're running out.

"Please tell me you've found some plant or mold or something that can prevent pregnancy.

Nearly six months pregnant because a goddamn condom split, TJ snorts and shakes her head. "It's not high on my priority list.

Sighing, Lisa comes into the room and tosses the empty box in the trash before perching on a stool. "This sucks."

"You could always do that instead."

For a moment, Lisa gapes at her, then bursts out laughing. "Yeah, but there's nothing like that deep down burn in the pit of your stomach from being pounded into from a big dick."

Flushing, TJ fiddles with another slide. She's not sure she'll ever get used to Lisa's raunchy side--worse than any of the female soldiers on the ship. "I have vague memories," she murmurs, and sticks her head back down to the microscope.

"We had more rubbers before the Depo shots ran their course. Whoever thought the soldiers needed those over an implant or IUD is an idiot."

"Three months. Yeah, I mentioned that to the higher ups. Their response was that the Gates went everywhere we did."

Lisa snorts, then sighs. "Greer is not going to be happy with blowjobs and handjobs."

"I could always snip all the men."

A laugh comes from the doorway and both women look over to see Lt. James grinning at them. "I can hear masculine legs crossing all over the ship."

The other two join in the laughter before TJ calms down enough to ask, "What do you need, lieutenant?"

"I heard you mentioning Depo. Mine ran out three weeks ago. Used my last rubber four days ago." She takes a seat next to Lisa.

"Maybe I _should_ make this a priority."

The other two women look at each other, look at TJ, and nod emphatically.

*****

Over the next few days TJ takes an informal poll of the women on the ship. Two of the scientists use IUDs, one had a hysterectomy, one is past menopause, two are gay. A couple use diaphragms but have run out of spermicide. The others are in the same straits as the female soldiers--birth control pills or shots have run out; condom supplies are either non-existent or being hoarded. 

TJ's pretty sure there are at least two gay male soldiers on the ship who are having the same problems. She can run HIV tests, but she can't manufacture birth control. She has the machinery, just not the raw ingredients.

A little wary of going to Young with the problem, she finds herself in Wray's office.

"I heard about your poll. Can I ask why you only focused on women?"

She'd actually considered it, but..."I thought about talking to the men. They have equal responsibility in birth control with their partners. This isn't fifty years ago. But, in the end, it's women who get pregnant." Her hand goes to the bump of her stomach. "And it was women who first came to me."

"There's nothing onboard that simulates latex?"

"I've looked. I've had Reilly looking. Even Eli, and boy did he blush about five different shades of red. They know pretty much every inch of the habitable space and haven't found anything. If I can find something, I'm pretty sure I can make sheathes of some kind. They may not be as effective as latex or even lambskin, but they'd be better than nothing. I tried to replicate the latex in the gloves I use, but no go, and I'm not willing to give up that limited supply and refashion them. I do have one of the chemists working on spermicide. We have the chemicals for that."

"Well, that's something." Camille taps her lip and gives her a curious look. "Why have you come to me?"

"Because there are those who think this is not a big deal, or any kind of issue worth working on."

"Rush?"

"He does have command, as such, over the scientists," TJ huffs. "He's pulled my chemist off the project twice already in the last three days."

"And the Colonel?"

"I...I'm not comfortable..."

Camille nods in sympathy and, again, TJ's glad she told the other woman the truth about her baby's paternity. 

*****

A month passes quickly with visits to four planets, none of which yield anything that will work as a latex substitute. Not that TJ can focus all her attention on the lack of birth control. There are just so many medical needs along with the occasional injuries to be dealt with. She does teach James, Park, and Eli what to look for, and Camille bullies Rush into letting his chemist work a couple hours a day on her projects, not only the spermicide, but developing medicines.

Every day she sees at least one person asking about condoms or something else to use. As the weeks pass, those numbers increase, as does the level of tension on the ship. Apparently very few people are getting laid anymore.

Frankly, she's a bit surprised so many people were. Her own sexual drive is basically non-existent these days.

It all comes to a head when Lisa slips into the clinic, much more subdued than normal. In fact, she's kind of wan with a hint of green to her skin.

Already reaching for a precious pair of gloves, TJ bustles over to her and asks her what's wrong.

Looking nothing like her usual bold and brassy self, Lisa sinks onto a stool and wraps her arms around her stomach as she mumbles, "I think I'm pregnant."

Oh.

Swallowing down a mix of concern and surprise, TJ nods and begins a basic exam. "When was your last period?"

"Six weeks, three days ago." Lisa lays back on the exam table and TJ starts probing her stomach. "And I'm always regular. Always. Even on this damn ship."

"We're you having sex without any form of birth control since then?"

"Once." Lisa thunks her head back in apparent annoyance. "We got carried away about a month ago. He pulled out, but..."

"If that worked, we wouldn't need artificial contraception," TJ points out wryly as she checks her pulse and blood pressure. "Both a bit elevated, but that can be put down to stress." Temperature is next. "Also a bit high. You're pale. Have you been vomiting at all?"

"Yeah, the last two mornings, and I know morning sickness is a misnomer, but it all adds up." Sitting up, Lisa holds out her arm for a blood draw.

"What about tender breasts?"

"Uh, no."

"Eaten anything strange in the last couple days?"

"Who hasn't?" TJ gives her a look and Lisa sighs again. "Drank some of Brody's latest batch of hootch three nights ago. He used some kind of fruit found on the last planet we visited, but it had tested as edible."

"Maybe not fermented?"

Fixing the blood sample, TJ places it in a machine for analysis, glad that these kind of tests take no time at all.

"Even if that's causing me to throw up, it wouldn't explain being over two weeks late."

"Lisa, our bodies change as we get older, and stress really can play a part." When the chime sounds, she reads the print out and smiles. "Not pregnant."

The relief on Lisa's face is palpable. "For fuck's sake, I don't want to go through that again. I don't know how you've done it, Teeje."

Shrugging, TJ files the results in Lisa's file, then hands her a couple antacids she developed from a plant and edible rock. "Stay away from the booze. I'll talk to Brody, make sure he's not poisoning more of the crew."

"So...stress?"

"Maybe. Maybe diet. All I know for sure is you have a low grade fever, look like crap, and aren't pregnant."

"The last is the most important, as long as I'm not dying."

"Pretty sure you're not."

"We have got to find something to make condoms out of."

Shaking her head in amusement, TJ asks, "How can you be thinking about sex now?"

"You haven't been fucked by Greer, honey. He is...a machine and the most skilled one I've ever been with."

"Stick with oral."

Lisa huffs in dismay and pops an antacid.

*****

There's a promising malleable leaf found on the next planet, but it tears too easily. TJ does find that it also produces a strong burn cream, so it's not a total loss. Sitting in the canteen eating a few berries they also found there, she reads through her notes, making frustrated noises every so often. She's so wrapped up in her work, she doesn't realize anyone's joined her until Everett clears his throat.

Surprised, TJ blinks up at him. Unless it's official business, he usually keeps his distance.

"Any luck?"

"Nothing's panned out so far." Everyone knows what she's working on by now, so she doesn't even ask him to clarify. "I've actually had two soldiers, men, come on to me in the last week because I'm _safe_."

His eyebrows go up and his lips twist into a frown and she wonders if he's going to ask for their names. They're not together. Despite the baby, they have no plans to move in that direction, but sometimes he's oddly overprotective of her. "That's not at all appropriate," he finally says flatly.

"I can take care of myself, and they weren't aggressive, and they are right. We're nearly eighty healthy, mostly young people, far away from loved ones, many without them to begin with because those recruited for this mission mostly were single. It's actually surprising I've only encountered one pregnancy scare, but that number is bound to go up."

"There is such a thing as restraint." His lips twitch and TJ snorts in response.

"A type personalities, too. Not much chance of them refraining from sex. Add in stress and boredom and I'm no longer surprised by the hook-ups I've seen."

"Tamara, I think we do need to make this a priority. When Wray first came to me nearly a month ago, I didn't realize this was becoming a real problem, but, you're right. I've seen some pairings I'd never have expected, and I've turned a blind eye to my soldiers breaking the fraternization rules, or enlisted men and officers being together." He lowers his voice. "I hope I'm not that hypocritical." 

They rules they broke could have seen them both drummed out of the military or at least heavily censured, maybe demoted, and the colonel surely would have been stripped of Icarus and sent home in disgrace. While she was only weeks away from mustering out, he was career military with at least a decade left. "We can't order people not to have sex."

"And, I don't say this to hurt you, but we don't need more pregnancies. We're in hostile territory, a fighting force, and we have no idea if or when we'll ever get home. We'll make do with raising your child, but this ship, not now at least, isn't meant for families."

"I know and if you think I'm not worried about my child, you're wrong."

As always they dance around the subject, neither one willing to bring paternity into the light, and she's relieved when he changes the topic, even though the question he asks is a tough one. 

"Have you ever performed an abortion?"

"No, but I know how. I don't have a moral issue with doing it, but I'm really hoping I won't have to."

"Then we make birth control of some kind a priority. No luck with anything like a pill?"

"We finally got working spermicide, but, no. That's been a bust as well as the condoms."

"You'll figure it out." Everett smiles and she finds herself responding.

*****

Two planets later yields a rubber-like substance which is too thick for condoms, but gives TJ an idea. Her earlier poll revealed a woman using a diaphragm and TJ asks her if she's used any of the new spermicide with it. It's not necessary, but she knows it makes the diaphragm more effective. Blushing, the woman, a zoologist, admits she has been for over two weeks and just had her period, so it worked.

"I would have mentioned it, but I have the only diaphragm."

Trying not to be exasperated with herself, because she's been so focused on condoms, TJ asks to borrow it for a scan.

Around eighteen hours later, after the scan, after manipulating the rubber substance, after experimenting with design specs and sizes, she comes up with a prototype and runs it through the manufacturing machine.

*****

"So, will it work?" James asks, giving the diaphragm, which is a weird yellow color, a dubious look.

"It feels just like the real one. It's impermeable like the real one. Sperm can't get through it."

"You tested that?" Lisa asks, a sly grin on her face.

TJ gives her a bland look. "You'd be surprised how many guys want to jerk off for me."

James bursts out laughing and Lisa sticks her tongue out at her and snags the diaphragm. 

"Okay, so I've never used one of these, How does it work."

"You're willing to give it a shot? This is the size for the average weight and dimensions of the women onboard, but I have a couple others." TJ hands over a container of spermicide.

"I'm remarkably average in size. More importantly, I have a permanent crick in my neck and my jaw aches."

Smirking, James grabs Lisa's arm and tugs her towards the door. "I used to use one, I'll show you."

"Let me know how it works," TJ calls after them, then decides she needs a nap. Knowing Lisa, it'll be a good two hours before she and Greer are done enough for her to get a report.

*****

The diaphragm is a complete success.

Three days after fitting and manufacturing enough for every woman who needs one and getting a lot of thank yous from both women and men, TJ sits in Camille's office, sipping something similar to tea.

"Designing contraceptive devices was not what I expected from this unexpected journey."

"But, you know, after we solved our air, water and most of our food issues, it makes the most sense. Sex is a basic need for a lot of people." With a sigh, Camille leans back in her chair. "I miss it."

"You're one of the few people here with a partner back home," TJ sympathizes. "It must be hard."

"Not just the lack of sex but the loss of companionship."

"I've found that friendship can help."

Camille smiles and leans forward with her cup to clink it against TJ's. "You're right."

End


End file.
